Here we intend to add some laughter to brighten the day. Rather than posting as separate posts, we think we will simply update this page with new fun stuff regularly. You may add your own jokes as comments, but be aware that all are moderated, and will be automatically deleted if inappropriate for this age-related aufience.
Here's a beginning...
Here's a beginning...
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find Stradbally.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered Stradbally ?
CLASS: Maria.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your maths multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand....
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mam is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered Stradbally ?
CLASS: Maria.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your maths multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand....
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mam is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
Jokes..!!
1.Q: what is the richest air.? A: A millionaire..!
2:Q: which is better heat or cold? A: Heat because you can catch a cold.!.
3:Q: what did the big chimney say to the little chimney?A: Your to young to be smoking.
4:Q: Why did the women throw the clock out the window.? A: She wanted to see time fly..!!
5:Q:Name two days that start with 't'. A: Today and tomorrow.!!
6:Q: Teacher: James where's your homework? James: I ate it! Teacher: why? James: you said it was a piece of cake.!
7:Q: you have your shoes on the wrong foot? A: But these are my only pair of feet.!!
My wife is driving me mad! Ever since it started snowing, she's been looking through the kitchen window. If it goes on any longer I think I will have to let her back in!
ReplyDeleteOne of my own jokes!
ReplyDeleteWhat did the big Chimney say to small chimney?
You're too young to be smoking!
What's black white and read all over? A newspaper!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletewhats black and white and red all over?
ReplyDeleteA nun falling down the stairs!
Whats black and white and red all over? A nun falling down a hill! Whats black and white and goes ha ha? The nun that pushed her ! :)
ReplyDeleteWhat runs but never walks? A tap!Hahaha
ReplyDeleteWhat did the big phone say to the little phone?
ReplyDeleteYou are to young to be engaged!
What is big ,jolly and has claws and only comes at Christmas? Sants Claws!
ReplyDeleteWhy was the music teacher on a ladder?? Because he wanted to reach high notes.
ReplyDelete